Come Up Here And See

Yesterday Greg and I celebrated our 40^th Anniversary. Wow 40 years of marriage. Both of us wonder where has all that time gone. Another couple at our church were celebrating their 68^th Anniversary, yes, I said 68 years of marriage. I asked her and my husband, if people really knew what their marriage would entail do you think they would have gotten married? Both said no and I agreed with them.

Marriage is not about the wedding day. Marriage is a lifelong covenant, a commitment unto each other, to God and a commitment to your witnesses. We made vows to each other and to God. The vows that I heard when I was growing up were “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part”.

Marriage is hard work. At times I feel like marriage is a continual dying to myself, my wants, and my desires. I think that Joyce Meyer says it the best when the Lord showed her years ago that she was like a crank up toy who would be cranked up to say all day long “What about me, what about me, what about me?” Marriage also involves me giving and doing for Greg what he wants and his desires.

• Luke 9:23 ESV And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

Oh, my goodness, that selfish attitude was me in the first years of our marriage and our marriage was tough because I had not died to self. We would fight, argue, disagree, I think you get the picture, and it was not pretty.  

For years I went to marriage counselling. I thought that I could just complain about my husband’s faults or what I thought were faults and they would agree with me, see my side of the story, pray in agreement with me and not really take the Lord’s view into the picture. When I write it down like this, I think oh my goodness Lisa how ridiculous that was. But that was where I was at.

Thankfully both Greg and I learned to forgive one another and to ask forgiveness. Marriage is a continual act of forgiveness.

The Holy Spirit was encouraging me Lisa how would you apply the Lord’s Prayer to your marriage. Okay Lord let’s do it.

Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. In our marriages we must know the Lord Jesus and we must fear God. The fear of the Lord is our delight, our wisdom, and the fear of the Lord will keep us clean and last forever.

Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Lord, we pray that Your will would be done in our marriages, our homes, our families, their homes, our children, our grandchildren, and our legacies. We pray that Your kingdom will come to our hearts so that we can bring Your kingdom to this world.

Give us this day our daily bread. Lord, I thank You that You are Jehovah Jireh our provider. I am thankful that my husband is an excellent provider so that I could be a home schooler and have my children home to teach them and teach them about You amid English, math, science, grammar, and everything else.

Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us. Father, please help me to forgive my spouse because I have been forgiven by You Lord God Almighty. Lord, I ask that You heal me of my hurts, pains so that I will release forgiveness to my spouse so that they can be healed. Thank You Lord.

Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil of the enemy. Lord, I pray that we would keep our eyes fixed and focused first on You, then on our spouses and not wandering through our screens, porn, movie, YouTube shorts, or wherever else lust, immorality, and impurity will jump us at us. Help us to remember how Jesus answered temptations in the desert from the enemy and to apply that to our lives.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Father, I pray that in our marriages and our families are to represent God’s kingdom, power, and glory here on earth first before eternity. This will be how others will want to know God’s kingdom and know that we have God’s power in our lives. Help us, Lord.

• Matthew 6:9-13 ESV The Lord’s Prayer

Unfortunately, every part of marriage such as respecting, submission, and loving one another has been distorted in our society or culture affecting even Christ followers. But the Word of God in Ephesians 5: 21-33 tells us to honour Christ by submitting to one another and that wives are to submit and honour their husbands as they submit to the Lord. Our society will mock that idea and tell wives that they are not door mats. However, when we think about it with the Holy Spirit, all we must do as wives is ask the Holy Spirit, have you ever made me a door mat? His answer is definitely no. The Lord is a gentleman, and we can trust Him. If as wives we extend that trust to our husbands and trust the Lord first, then God can do a miraculous work. 

Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church and washes her with the Word of God. I think the husbands have a higher call in this, just saying. This is easier for me to say because we have been married for forty years, to only one person who takes care of me has been faithful to me, so I have been extremely blessed.

This is what I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am part of the bride of Christ, His church and that Jesus is making his bride holy and clean with His word so that when He returns, He can present to Himself the bride without spot, wrinkle, holy and without fault. This is exciting to me. So, whenever I am frustrated with my husband, I bring to my memory what the Lord says about marriage and my accountability to my call. I must ask forgiveness from the Lord many, many times and from my husband.

I know that the Lord wants you to know that if you have been wounded deeply in your marriage God is able to heal your broken wounds. At this moment there may be infection oozing out of those wounds, but the blood of Jesus heals us and sets us free. Come running to Him, cry out and let Him hold you and guide you, He can heal you and heal your family.

Holy Spirit, I thank You for creating marriage, You created us in Your image with a purpose to be in fellowship with You and with each other and to have children. Lord, I pray that we would see marriage as sacred that You have created it to be. Lord, please heal the broken marriages, the broken relationships, and families in this world. I pray that they would look to You for healing, direction, guidance and that all of us would be obedient to You, in Jesus’ name I pray, amen.